What do you do when someone gives you a present? You say thank you, of course. But while expressing your thanks informally may be fine for some other occasions, weddings call for the full treatment. You absolutely — no whining, please — have to send a thank you note. You obviously knew that because you’ve already got a list of gifts — and hopefully, the original cards, too — along with the names of the people who sent them. You know how to spell their names correctly and you’ve got their addresses because you sent them invitations to the wedding. You’ve probably even bought some good notepaper with your new monogram on it, and you’ve got stamps, envelopes, and a pen. The hardest part is sitting down and starting. You’re not ungrateful, you just don’t know what to say. Here’s How to Start However you address the person when you’re talking to him or her is the way to start the note: Dear Claudia, Dear Aunt Jane and Uncle Phil, Dear Mr. and Mrs. Smith. If a gift card was signed The Greene Family, address the note with the family’s first names if you know them all; if not, then address it Dear Barbara, John and all or Dear Barbara, John and family. And yes, when it comes to names, it’s ladies first. Then Express Your Thanks The time-honored way to begin is by saying “Thank you so much for the lovely picture frame.” There’s nothing wrong with that, but you can mix it up and say “We were so happy when we opened your package and found the great fondue pot,” or “The beautiful flower vase was such a wonderful surprise,” or “It was so thoughtful of you to send us the terrific juicer.” What you don’t want to do is say “Thank you for the gift you sent.” Identify the specific item and say something nice about it. What About the Rest of the Note? One sentence isn’t going to cut it, even if the sentence is really long. So go on and describe how you’re going to use the gift or what it means to you. Here are some examples: “We’re delighted with the crystal bowl that you sent. It’s in the center of the dining room table right now, filled with green pears, and it looks so beautiful.” “Thank you so very much for the silver candlesticks. They’re too gorgeous to save for special occasions, so we’re going to use them every day.” “We’re thrilled that you sent us a place setting in the pattern we selected. It’s such a nice feeling to know that you’ll be part of every meal we serve.” What If You’re Going to Return the Gift to the Store? There is absolutely no need to tell someone that hers was the third coffeemaker you received. The time to say anything, if ever, is when she subsequently visits your home and notices that you’re making coffee in a machine she didn’t give you. Then you can say that you’d received multiples and hope she doesn’t mind that you exchanged hers for the slow cooker that you absolutely love and use every day. What If You Don’t Like the Gift but Can’t Return It? Write a thank you note as graciously as if you loved it, and then stash the present in the closet. Bring it out when the donor comes to visit. Then stash it away again. Do not re-gift it; that kind of thing can come back to haunt you. What If the Present Was Money or a Gift Card? “We’re so grateful for your very generous check. It’s going into our down payment fund to move us closer to buying a house, and we couldn’t be happier.” “It was absolutely perfect of you to send us a gift card to Crate & Barrel. We’re going to use it for a paella pan, something we both wanted but never would have bought for ourselves.” Add One More Thing It would be a nice gesture to also thank them for coming to the wedding, or saying you missed them. “We’re so glad you could come to the wedding. It was a very special day for us and it was that much better because you were there.” “We’re so sorry you couldn’t come to the wedding. As soon as things settle down, let’s make plans to get together.” Close Warmly If signing your note “Love” or “Much love” doesn’t feel right for the person you’re writing to, here are a few alternatives: “With gratitude,“ “Warmest thanks”, or “Many thanks.” (“Yours truly” or “Sincerely” are more appropriate for a business letter than a thank you note for a wedding present.) Regardless of which of you actually writes the note, both of you should sign it. A Final Note About Thank You Notes If you start writing them as soon as you begin receiving gifts, you won’t find yourself with a backlog. Worst case, if you’ve let the obligations pile up for longer than a month, ground yourselves (both of you!) and get to it. People deserve to be thanked nicely, but even more importantly, they deserve to know that their gifts have been received. The last thing you want is a phone call from your new mother-in-law telling you that her best friend has asked if you ever got the cheese board she sent. Don’t let it happen.
By admin
October 23, 2014
You’re about to make the biggest commitment of your life and you want to do it in your own words. It all sounded wonderfully romantic when you both decided to write your own vows, but now that you’re facing a blank page, it’s daunting. Not only are you going to compose very personal thoughts and feelings meant for the person you’re going to spend the rest of your days with, but you’re going to announce them in front of a lot of other people. Before you keel over in a dead faint at the prospect, here are some guidelines that will help. Check With Your Officiant Some religious ceremonies require specific wording included within the wedding vows. Make sure you know what’s acceptable within your tradition. Take Some Private Time to Put Your Thoughts Together Curl up with your cat or dog on your lap, take a walk in the park, or sit at the beach and watch the waves. Go wherever your mind can be at peace and thoughts can come to you. Think about this person you’re about to marry and why he or she is the one. Plan With Each Other Before You Start Writing You each have your own style of talking and writing, but discuss whether you’d like the tone of your vows to be similar. If one of you is planning an Elizabethan sonnet and the other intends something less formal, consider if you’ll be comfortable with that; it might sound as if you’re not at the same wedding. Consider Parallel Construction You may want to come up with a list of sentence starters that you can each then complete on your own. Parallel construction can help your vows flow easier, but be careful not to make it sound too much like a nursery rhyme. Things like “When times are good I promise to…,” “When times are hard I promise to…”, “When I first saw you I…”, “I want to spend the rest of my life with you because…” Keep It Short Vows shouldn’t take longer than about a minute each. That’s about 150 words. If you’ve got more you’re aching to say, use it in your wedding toast, whisper it to your new spouse while you’re dancing, or put it in a love letter. Don’t Make It Cutesy “I love you when you have pizza sauce on your chin” is the kind of thing you say to each other in the privacy of your own home, not when you’re committing to a lifetime of devotion in front of your parents and everyone you know. Don’t Fill It With Inside References You’re not texting each other or leaving notes on the refrigerator door. You’ve invited people to witness this exchange of vows committing yourself to one another; you want to be sure they can understand what you’re talking about. Above all, refrain from trying to slip in coded references to anything that’s really intimate. (Some codes aren’t all that difficult to crack.) Anything that has the potential to make you giggle while you say it is probably not a good thing to include. Don’t Fill It With Quotations If you want some inspiration, you can find lots of online sites with both traditional and offbeat vows, as well as romantic quotes from movies and literature. Given that the whole idea is to come up with your own original vows, though, think hard before you decide to fill them with other people’s words. Don’t Use Overworn Words Love, honor, and cherish are old words that will never lose their meanings. Awesome and amazing have been used so often to describe such mundane things as a pair of sandals or a vegan smoothie that they have completely lost their value in describing something really awesome or amazing, like the depth of your feelings for this person standing next to you. Make It Warm, Make It Real The point of writing your own vows is to make them personal and meaningful to the two of you. You might want to include a reference to any children the marriage is bringing with it. Don’t shy from including something light-hearted or even something unexpected that will bring a quick laugh. This is a joyous occasion, after all. But also keep in mind the very serious reason you’re getting married, and the mutual obligations and responsibilities — albeit loving — that go along with that. Read Out Loud to Yourself as You Write If something sounds stilted or is difficult to say out loud, revise it. Try moving the words or the sentences around. Getting a first draft on the page is the hard part; re-writing is always easier. Often a new and better way of saying something will come to you if you give it a day or two before you re-read what you’ve written. Write Out Your Vows for the Ceremony This is no time for three-hole notebook paper. Write or print your vows on a nice 3x5 or 5x8 card or even on a small scroll. Rehearse You’ll have the written copy to guide you, but try to memorize as much of your vows as possible so you can recite them while you’re looking at the other person instead of down at your notes. Practice speaking clearly and not too quickly so everyone seated in your beautiful wedding venue will be able to hear you. After the Wedding Frame your vows and hang them someplace where you’ll see them every day!
Your Wedding-Day Emergency Kit Big day. Lots of people. Lots of details. So many chances for minor mishaps that could be resolved easily if only you had the right stuff to fix them. Herewith, a suggested list of supplies that might come in handy for you, your wedding party, or family members. Hotel gift shops and housekeeping departments carry some of these items, and your wedding planner may bring some of them with her, too, but you’ll be ready for almost anything if you have your own stash right at hand. Pop the list into your purse and bring it with you as you make your ordinary rounds in the weeks leading up to the wedding. Check it when you’re in the drugstore, dollar store, or beauty supply shop and soon you’ll have everything you need. As a bonus, buy travel-appropriate sizes and packaging and pack everything into a tote. Then you can offload the ones that were wedding-specific and take the rest along on your honeymoon! For Personal Care and Grooming Some disposable toothbrushes, toothpaste, dental floss, breath mints or spray, contact lens solution, eye drops, hand lotion, a few tampons and panty liners. Also hairspray, nail polish remover pads, nail polish (both clear and the color you’re wearing), an emery board, super glue, a comb, some bobby pins, hair elastics, Q-tips, and tweezers. Bring sunblock if your wedding is outdoors. Add a mirror you can use to see the back of your hair and dress, and any makeup you’ll want for touchups. Your perfume, too. Super-fastidious brides might also want to pack some drinking straws so they and their bridesmaids can hydrate themselves pre-wedding (with water or something more festive) after their lipstick is on. Don’t forget tissues for wiping smears as well as tears. For Minor Medical Issues Aspirin or other headache reliever, Motrin or other muscle pain reliever, Benadryl or other antihistamine, antacid, anti-diarrheal, antibiotic cream, and Band-Aids. Also, prescription medications and an Epi-pen if either you or the groom use them. If you’ve got room, toss in a can or small bottle of ginger ale; sometimes it’s better than anything else to soothe an unsettled stomach. For Wardrobe Malfunctions A sewing needle and thread (white, black, and the color of the bridesmaid dresses), small scissors, safety pins, straight pins, spare earring backs, a lint brush or roller, double-sided fashion tape, no-iron hem tape, stain-removing stick or towelettes, white chalk (for camouflaging stains), anti-static spray or dryer sheets, a travel-size steamer, a travel-size iron, a pair of sheer Peds for anyone who might need them. If you’ve got written instructions for bustling your dress, don’t forget to bring them. Also consider bringing a pair of white ballet slippers or other comfortable shoes to put on in case a night of dancing leaves your feet howling. For Miscellaneous Problems An extension cord, Scotch tape, and extra batteries for whatever might require them. A piece of sandpaper for giving traction to the bottom of a pair of brand new shoes. A book of matches or a lighter. A pen and a pad of paper or post-its. A bottle of club soda. For the Wedding Itself Contact lists of vendors and members of the bridal party, copies of your vows and the ceremony and reception schedules, copy of the music playlist (in case the bandleader or DJ left his in the car), cash for unexpected tips or other expenses. Some people recommend bringing “extra” wedding rings, but if by any remote chance yours are misplaced, how much nicer to temporarily borrow rings from family or friends. For Any Children in the Wedding Party Bring some non-sticky, non-sugary, won’t-spill munchies to keep them occupied pre-ceremony. Pretzels, bananas, or green grapes shouldn’t pose any problems. Juice boxes could be iffy, but definitely no grape juice. For the big girls and boys among you — yourself included — who might have skipped breakfast or lunch, you could bring a box of energy bars or trail mix. But no grape juice for any of the grownups, either. And that goes for red wine, too. For the Groom Duct tape. He will use it to fix everything the rest of the list won’t.
By admin
September 24, 2014
All those months of planning are over, the wedding venue was beautiful, the honeymoon dreamy, and now you’ve kicked off your shoes, unpacked your suitcases, and are ready to settle into married life. Not so fast. There are still some details to take care of. 1. Change Your Name If you’re changing your last name, the first place to contact is the Social Security Administration. Go to ssa.gov for complete instructions and to fill out an application, but you must apply for the name change in person. In general, the application, proof of identity, and original or certified copy of your marriage certificate (not marriage license) will be required, but check the website for additional paperwork that might be necessary under special circumstances. There is no charge to change your name on your account, and your social security number will remain the same. You’ll receive your new card in the mail about 10 business days after you submit your application. Once you’ve changed your name with Social Security, you can change it with the Department of Motor Vehicles. California residents should visit dmv.ca.gov for complete instructions for changing your name on your driver’s license or ID card. Applications are not available online because they’re individually bar coded, but you can request that one be mailed to you if you want to fill it out at home. You’ll have to go to a DMV office to complete the process. Make an appointment unless you like standing in lines, and be prepared to have your picture taken. The fee for a name change is $27. You may as well change your name on your vehicle registration at the same time. You have to apply in person, but there’s no fee. After your new major identification sources are in sync, you can change the name on your bank accounts and with whomever issues your paychecks. Then go down the line and have your name changed on your credit cards, health insurance, car insurance, passport, voter registration, student or car loans, and any professional licenses or certifications you have. If your maiden name is on a continuing mortgage, lease, utility account, or any other business that sends you regular bills (cell phone, ISP), change your name on those. Don’t forget to change your name and contact info for your pet’s chip, inform your alumni association and any membership organizations you belong to, and of course let all your business contacts know your new name. 2. Clean and Protect Your Wedding Dress If your dress was visibly soiled, we hope you asked someone to take it to be cleaned as soon as possible after your wedding when stain-removal would have been most effective. Otherwise, the sooner the better is the time to have it professionally cleaned and packed for storage. Even if your dress looks pristine, you did wear it for hours, were touched and hugged by countless people, and the hem probably hit the ground or the floor any number of times. A shop experienced in wedding dress preservation will carefully clean it, layer it in acid-free tissue paper, and pack it in an archival box that will keep it protected. The service can be pricey, depending upon the fabric and intricacy of your dress, but that dress is probably the most expensive piece of clothing you’ve ever bought or are likely to buy, and if you have any notion of passing it on to a future daughter, the cost is well worth it. Even if you decide not to preserve your dress, consider preserving at least your delicate veil. There are many fine cleaners in the Los Angeles area; your bridal shop may offer a suggestion, or search “wedding dress preservation” to find one you’re comfortable with. 3. Start on Your Thank You Notes Get them out within a month (two at the max) to everyone who gave you a gift or performed a special service. A handwritten note is the most appropriate way to do it. Email is better than nothing, but you should probably still write a special note to loved ones, especially older family members who may not use the computer frequently. Absolutely no “thanks for the great present” blasts; each email has got to be personal and mention the specific gift. 4. Return Borrowed Items and Duplicate Gifts Return everything you may have borrowed, with appropriate thanks, and return duplicate presents to the store as soon as you can. Your bridal registries may have programs that offer you a post-wedding discount when you buy items for yourself that you didn’t receive as gifts. For example, Macy’s will give you a 15 percent discount for up to six months, Crate & Barrel gives a 15 percent discount for three months, and Pottery Barn and Williams-Sonoma give a 10 percent discount for six months. You might want to wait until near the deadlines because you’ll probably still be receiving gifts after the wedding. 5. Take Care of the Big-Time Stuff You don’t have to take care of these the day you come home, but don’t put them off. The sooner you check these off your list, the sooner you can put them out of your mind. We’re talking about preparing wills and health care directives, and putting your names together as signatories and beneficiaries on retirement and other important accounts and documents. You’re a legally recognized couple now and have shared assets and responsibilities to each other. Put your financial house in order when you embark on life together, and you’ll be getting off to a smooth start.
By admin
September 18, 2014
When you’re planning your wedding reception, sometimes it can seem as if deciding on the theme is the most difficult part. With so many options to choose from, it can feel daunting; you need to choose a theme that reflects you and your personal style without becoming too kitschy or overdone. Borrowing styles and ideas from Hollywood films is a great way to evoke the glamorous feeling of different periods in moviemaking history. Since you have the advantage of living in Los Angeles, the movie capital of the world, gathering the props and decorations to pull off a Hollywood-themed reception is much easier than it would be elsewhere. When you meet with your planner, discuss your ideas with him or her and ask questions. A good Los Angeles wedding planner should have contacts with many of the businesses that specialize in props for film and television shows, which will make your vision come to life in a spectacular way. Here are some great glam wedding reception ideas that can help you turn your reception into an Oscar-winning performance. The 1920s and “The Great Gatsby” The 1920s have always been an era that people look back on fondly. Chances are if you’ve been to a costume party recently you’ve found yourself faced with a 1920s theme. Thanks to last year’s release of Baz Luhrmann's “The Great Gatsby,” 1920s style is more popular than ever. If you’re in the mood for an over-the-top reception, you could throw a full-fledged costume party. Ask your guests to come decked out in their best flapper attire, serve champagne in vintage coupes or saucers, offer a cigar bar for the gentlemen, and hire a jazz band to play ragtime classics from the period. The decadence of the 1920s will shine through and make your guests feel as if they’ve been transported to the Prohibition era. If you’d rather keep the 1920s theme subtle for your reception, there are plenty of art deco touches that are understated yet elegant. Choose stylish linens in black and white for the tables. Ask your caterer to set the tables in heavy, classic silver utensils coupled with a stylish plate in white. Ask your florist to use large blooms such as peonies and to add ostrich or peacock feathers to the arrangements. Keep the lighting subtle to really evoke the speakeasy mood. “Casablanca” and the 1940s The 1940s were an interesting time in the United States. Half of the decade was spent at war, yet some of the most classic American films were released during that decade. “Casablanca,” “Citizen Kane,” and “It’s a Wonderful Life” were released during the 1940s, and these films remain some of the best-loved classics. The style of the time was classic and elegant, and all of these themes are perfect for a wedding reception. Borrowing ideas from “Casablanca” is a great way to style your vintage-themed reception. Evoke a sultry, Middle Eastern/North African feel with linens and draperies in bright jewel tones, and ask your planner to find some Moroccan-style lanterns for the tables. Use vintage postcards on the tables to guide your guests to their seats, and consider setting up a hookah lounge outside. Just a few simple touches, which may include a Panama hat or two, can make you and your guests feel as if they’re having a drink at Rick’s Cafe and that Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall will walk through the door at any moment. 1960s “Mad Men” Style The 1960s were a time of duality in America. There was a holdover of the style from the 1950s combined with the emergence of counterculture hedonism later in the decade. If you’re a fan of the classic style of the earlier part of the 1960s, think “Mad Men” for your wedding reception style. A martini bar is a must and creates a chic cocktail party feel that your guests will love. Decorate with period props such as vintage typewriters that your guests can use to write well wishes to the happy couple. Roses and baby’s breath were very popular at the time, so be sure to tell your florist that you’ve been inspired by “Mad Men” and would like your flower arrangements to align with that theme. You can apply the 1960s theme to your menu as well. Dishes like chateaubriand and beef Wellington were popular at the time, and are certainly decadent enough for an elegant reception. Be sure that your band or DJ is well versed in the music of the time, and have a dance floor that encourages your guests to take part. If you’re inspired by a bygone Hollywood era, it’s quite simple to apply that theme to your wedding reception. With carefully chosen props, decorations, and flowers, your reception venue can be whisked back in time to another decade. Outline your plans carefully with your wedding planner, then watch your old Hollywood reception come to life.
By admin
September 4, 2014
So you’re engaged, you’ve chosen your bridal party, you have a thousand and one dress ideas, you’ve hired a planner, and you’ve established a budget. While everything may seem as if it’s falling into place, the fun — and the potential headaches — are just beginning. Sticking to your budget may be the most difficult part of the planning process, especially when it comes time to choose your menu. With so many delectable choices of cuisine and your desire to give your guests the best possible experience, it can be easy to become tempted to increase your budget. However, if that happens you’ll ultimately find yourself cutting costs elsewhere. With the help of a good planner, you’ll find it easy to stick within your budget and still offer your guests the wedding feast that they want. Simply follow these simple rules and your wedding reception will shine as brightly as you do on your special day. Work Closely With Your Planner Your wedding planner is your best ammunition when faced with a budget battle. He or she has the necessary experience and the roster of catering contacts that will help you stick to your spending limit. It’s important that you’re absolutely clear about the amount of money you have to spend on catering, then you can let your planner work their marriage magic. Your planner may also be able to secure discounts with various vendors and caterers, which can ultimately save you money. Additionally, depending on the size of your guest list, volume discounts may also be available. It never hurts to wheel and deal a bit as long as you’re not sacrificing quality by doing so. Lastly, keep your planner apprised of any budget changes that may occur along the way. It’s crucial that he or she is fully aware of your financial limitations throughout the planning process. Choose the Right Catering Company When you begin to plan your wedding, you’ll likely be overwhelmed with recommendations from friends and family. Someone’s uncle, cousin, or father is bound to own a catering company, and business cards will fall like rain. While it might be a great opportunity to work with some of these family-owned companies, you’ll need to make sure that your final catering choice is the best one for you and your reception, no matter who owns it. When you and your planner begin to interview caterers, pay close attention and take notes. Yes, the food has to be delicious and in line with your theme, but there are other details to consider. Can this caterer work within your budget? Does your catering budget cover the number of people who will attend your reception? Can they offer several different types of cuisine? How much does it cost to hire the servers, bartenders, and busboys? Are linens included? A good caterer will be honest about costs and will strive to give you the menu that you want for the price that you can afford. Once you feel confident about your choice of caterers, you can step back and let your planner handle the rest. Consider Your Menu Carefully It’s natural to want to give your guests the best while they’re helping you to celebrate your special day, but you’ll also want to be aware of how much you can afford. The pricey filet mignon on the surf and turf menu may sound like a great choice, but if your budget can only provide that delicious steak for half of your guests then it’s a disaster in the making. Plated meals are always a great choice for a reception, but this option can also be the most expensive. Adding a large wait staff to your catering bill can eat away at your budget in no time. If your wedding is a smaller, more intimate affair, then this could be the perfect option. However, if you’re hosting more than a hundred guests you might want to consider other avenues. Buffet-style service has evolved a great deal in recent years, and choosing this option for your reception could leave you pleasantly surprised. Many chefs are eager to elevate different foods and showcase them in a new light. Plus, you’ll be able to choose a few different varieties of food for your buffet menu, which will please your more finicky guests, especially children who may be in attendance. And last but certainly not least, family-style catering is a choice that combines the best aspects of several different service styles. You’ll meet with the caterer and decide on a menu that features several food choices, from appetizers to dessert. Your guests will sit at their assigned tables, and servers will be able to offer the food right away. Gone is the need for time-consuming menu ordering and lines at the buffet station. Family style allows you and your guests to enjoy a more intimate, less hectic dining experience, and this choice can be a money-saving one, as well. Choosing the right caterer and menu for your reception can feel a bit trying, but if you’re true to your budget and are willing to think outside the box, you can find yourself with a fantastic spread for your big day. Now all that’s left is to eat, drink, and be married!
